ban·ish /ˈbaniSH/ verb
- send (someone) away from a country or place as an official punishment.
- forbid, abolish, or get rid of (something unwanted).
DeeDee was sad. DeeDee was always sad—well, either sad, or nothing. But today DeeDee was a very deep, echoing, hopeless kind of sad (as opposed to a deep, echoing, hopeless kind of nothing).
Why?
Well, it wasn't hard to be the saddest of sads, the gloomiest of glooms, the glummest of glums, the forlornest of forlorns, the emptiest of empties, the ennui-est of ennuis—
Okay, DeeDee was putting it off. But I'll just come right out with it.
Their friends didn't want them around anymore. And neither did I.
ru·mi·nate /ˈrü-mə-ˌnāt/ verb
- to go over in the mind repeatedly and often casually or slowly.
- to chew repeatedly for an extended period.
At night she dreamed of composing her magnum opus.
When she opened her eyes, she prepared herself for another day of disappointment.
She just needed to write. That’s all there was to it, really. Pen to paper. Heck, fingerpainting out words in the sand would do the trick. As long as they formed coherent sentences, and those sentences paraded into a story—that’s what she needed.
And yet.
It was easier said than done. Literally.
tsun·do·ku 積ん読 noun (Japanese)
- the act of acquiring books and not reading them; of letting them pile up around you
They said she should open a book store, but she didn't want to.
They said “You love to be surrounded by books so much, a bookstore is the perfect place to do that!”
But she didn't want to.
If she owned a bookstore, that would mean selling her books. Letting them go.
She was surrounded by books because she desired to have them.
And they, her.
a·wash /əˈwôSH,əˈwäSH/ adjective
- covered or flooded with water, especially seawater or rain.
- containing large numbers or amounts of someone or something.
- level with the surface of water, especially the sea, so that it just washes over.
“This is how much I love you!”
It was like the book they'd read to me as a child. A baby bunny and her mama bunny. Love so big it dared to be contained in the pages of the book. Or was it a human child and human mother? Maybe the love was in fact so gargantuan that it defied species in my mind, and it mixed and mingled and swirled with all the other books I read in childhood.
dal·li·ance /ˈdalēəns/ noun
- a casual romantic or sexual relationship.
- brief or casual involvement with something.
“Aha! I say,” The alabaster man in the top hat chortled. “Yes, this was a grand idea, to give folks five day instead of seven day work-weeks.”
“Indubitably, my good man,” The other, chalkier fellow responded, equally top-hatted. “Now that the fine citizens of these United States have two days a week to go out into the world with their families, they will spend so much more of their money!”
/pak(t)/ noun
- a formal agreement between individuals or parties.
“So you know how we made that pact at 15 that when we lived in the same city again we’d go on our road trip?”
Rhea just stared at the woman standing across from her on the front doorstep, trekking dirt onto the otherwise clean welcome mat. The woman wore boots that could have been a homeless man’s second-to-worst pair of shoes and sunglasses that were more expensive than any pair Rhea owned.
“Well, I’m back!”
spi·ral·ing /ˈspī-rəl-ēŋ/ verb
- moving in a spiral course. causing to have a spiral shape or follow a spiral course.
- showing a continuous and dramatic increase. decreasing or deteriorating continuously.
Hands tapping, fingers flying over keys. Brow furrowed, shoulders hunched. Writing is art, art is pain, pain is life. Yes, yes, YES!
He’s done it. He. Has. Done. It. Completed. Kaput.
His masterpiece. His magnum opus. The best thing he will ever create, the thing he’s been working toward his whole life, his whole existence.
And yet.
ca·dence /ˈkādns/ noun
- a modulation or inflection of the voice.
- a sequence of notes or chords comprising the close of a musical phrase.
It was Thursday night, which meant Family Dinner, which meant Gabby would have to come clean. Her twin sister, Arielle, already knew, and had promised under threat of blackmail not to tell. It was Gabby's news to share.
“So, Arielle, any fun plans for the weekend?” their mother, Patricia, asked breezily as she passed the dish of sautéed spinach across the table to the eldest twin. Since they'd turned sixteen a year ago, their parents had rewarded Arielle — and begrudgingly, Gabby — with a greater sense of freedom and autonomy. Though as their mom, Betty, liked to jokingly threaten, “privileges can be revoked at any time.” So far, that time hadn't come, and the twins intended to keep it that way. Well, had intended, anyway.
/stôrm/ noun
- a violent disturbance of the atmosphere with strong winds and usually rain, thunder, lightning, or snow.
- a tumultuous reaction; an uproar or controversy.
Content warning: suicide, language
I learned the hard way that I am my biggest enemy, the biggest monster under my bed, the biggest boogie man in my closet. No one else. Just me.
/depTH/ noun
- the distance from the top or surface to the bottom of something.
- the quality of being intense or extreme.
- a point far below the surface.
Content warning: violence, language
5:57am. Saturday, August 2nd. 54 degrees Fahrenheit. Still air.
A rusty metal pole. Faded ‘76’ and ‘45’ lettered near the top in yellow paint. Cigarette butts scattered at its base.
A woman, leaning, waiting. Hands in the pockets of her oversized half-zipped hoodie. Low cut v-neck cropped tank underneath. Jean shorts cut off at her upper thighs, ripped hems. Scuffed black and white sneakers. One foot scraping back and forth on the pavement, shredding the cigarette remains through pure friction.
5:58.
Another girl walks up the sidewalk toward the bus stop. She’s dressed in scrubs. A high schooler, part of the hospital’s teen summer intern program.
The woman has been expecting her.